What Does A Girls Virgina Look Like Lost My Virginity To A Girl I Love, Want To Marry Her But Don't Know How To Forget He Past, How?

Lost my virginity to a girl I love, want to marry her but don't know how to forget he past, how? - what does a girls virgina look like

Ok

I am 27 years old, single, religious, MBA degree takes about a year 100k

I always had girlfriends, but never thought it has been worth losing my virginity again the more sex I had ever spoken ....

A year ago I met a woman who graduated 23, from college, worked for a company ... pretty decent and well educated attractive girl

After about 8 months, we decided to go on a cruise to Puerto Rico, which was where it happened to go, I was so nervous that he was not.

I used to be subtle, I saw a lot of stories, I saw quite clearly a Virginia again and again, or ... another hole appears that, when repeatedly used

I thought, damn this girl was .... Then ask your friends in the last friend.
I started a Relation with him without knowing that you can speak ex) and Oh, my God, what a shit of a person, really stupid, are not attractive in any way, and about girls, cars and who does not himself go to waste to make foolish.
What bothered me when he said that practically the screw more than 500 times, and 40 analysts, semen was from a handful of times

I want to go now, I will not, it was not a virgin, but to lose someone with him for 4 years?
I feel beneath him, now that he abused him, and I wish

Now I do not know what they are thinking, ideas

serious answers please